Time Magazine released the Top 10 Worst Chick Flicks, which included the usual tripe: The Ugly Truth, All About Steve, Nights of Rodanthe, Crossroads, etc. It’s an all right list, but are these really the worst Chick Flicks? And what’s a “Chick Flick,” anyway? Aren’t chicks allowed to go to any movie they want?
Below I’ve compiled a more accurate list. I call it “The 10 Worst Chick Flicks, Especially for First Dates (in no particular order).” It’s a long title, but, it’s accurate.
- Pulp Fiction (1994). Unless your idea of romance is revenge for an alleged foot massage, as well as a Gimp, this may be one of the worst Chick Flicks of all time. Take it from personal experience.
- Fight Club (1999). I’m really not supposed to talk it, but this homage to male bonding may be a tad strong. However, the protagonist does shoot himself in the mouth in order to kill his split personality and start a relationship with a woman. So, I guess it’s kind of a Chick Flick …
- The Human Centipede (2010). Don’t know much about this film, but, if the trailer’s any indication, this won’t be next year’s Valentine’s gift.
- Oldboy (2003). A man is kidnapped and imprisoned for 15 years and then tricked into falling in love and having sex with his daughter. From what I understand, women don’t like incest.
- Se7en (1995). The woman gets killed and her head is chopped off and delivered to her husband. Mmmmmm – can you feel the romance?
- Saving Private Ryan (1998). Nothing says love like a beach invasion.
- Schindler’s List (1993). In case Saving Private Ryan is too warm and fuzzy (Tom Hanks’ character does mention a wife …), there’s always the Holocaust. Of course, Seinfeld did make out during the movie, so, there may be something I’m missing.
- Rambo: First Blood (1982). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder = Love.
- Reservoir Dogs (1992). While Van Gogh did chop off an ear for love, I’m not sure the same sentiment is expressed here.
- Apocalypse Now (1979). “Nothing says Chick Flick like Napalm in the morning.”