10 Really Bad Chick Flicks

Time Magazine released the Top 10 Worst Chick Flicks, which included the usual tripe: The Ugly Truth, All About Steve, Nights of Rodanthe, Crossroads, etc. It’s an all right list, but are these really the worst Chick Flicks? And what’s a “Chick Flick,” anyway? Aren’t chicks allowed to go to any movie they want?

Below I’ve compiled a more accurate list. I call it “The 10 Worst Chick Flicks, Especially for First Dates (in no particular order).” It’s a long title, but, it’s accurate.

  1. Pulp Fiction (1994). Unless your idea of romance is revenge for an alleged foot massage, as well as a Gimp, this may be one of the worst Chick Flicks of all time. Take it from personal experience.
  2. Fight Club (1999). I’m really not supposed to talk it, but this homage to male bonding may be a tad strong. However, the protagonist does shoot himself in the mouth in order to kill his split personality and start a relationship with a woman. So, I guess it’s kind of a Chick Flick …
  3. The Human Centipede (2010). Don’t know much about this film, but, if the trailer’s any indication, this won’t be next year’s Valentine’s gift.
  4. Oldboy (2003). A man is kidnapped and imprisoned for 15 years and then tricked into falling in love and having sex with his daughter. From what I understand, women don’t like incest.
  5. Se7en (1995). The woman gets killed and her head is chopped off and delivered to her husband. Mmmmmm – can you feel the romance?
  6. Saving Private Ryan (1998). Nothing says love like a beach invasion.
  7. Schindler’s List (1993). In case Saving Private Ryan is too warm and fuzzy (Tom Hanks’ character does mention a wife …), there’s always the Holocaust. Of course, Seinfeld did make out during the movie, so, there may be something I’m missing.
  8. Rambo: First Blood (1982). Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder = Love.
  9. Reservoir Dogs (1992). While Van Gogh did chop off an ear for love, I’m not sure the same sentiment is expressed here.
  10. Apocalypse Now (1979). “Nothing says Chick Flick like Napalm in the morning.”
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