Off-topic movie review: The Last Stand

arnold

I really don’t think it’s a coincidence that the climax of Arnold Schwarzennegger’s The Last Stand takes place in a corn field.

LastStand-Corn2You know, because the movie’s a little corny? Get it?

If you rolled your eyes at that joke, that’s pretty much the exact same reaction you’ll have for the rest of the movie. If you happen to love corny jokes … well, that works to your advantage.

The Last Stand is kind of like Rio Bravo, in which Arnold plays the Duke, Johnny Knoxville plays Dude and Luis Guzman plays a Hispanic Walter Brennan without a limp. No one plays Ricky Nelson, though, so there’s none of this, which is kind of a shame.

Then again, it’s an Arnold cop movie … what did you expect? Keep expectations low and be surprised is my movie motto.

Speaking of keeping low expectations, the movie also reminded me of The Chase (1994), which starred that post-Hot Shots!, pre-Major League 2 Charlie Sheen and a post-Buffy, pre-Higher Learning Kristy Swanson … except told from the law enforcement’s perspective … and the people driving the car aren’t innocent … Now that I think about it, it’s really nothing like it at all, except for car chases.

But it does help me remember The Chase.

Now THAT was an interesting mess of a movie. I still wonder how those two were able to make out (and then some) in the car while speeding toward Mexico and not mess up her hair.

It’s a somewhat humorous commentary on the media as well … AND it has Henry Rollins and Anthony Kiedis and Flea. Back in the 1990s … when rock stars could be movie stars … which brings us back to Ricky Nelson …

But that’s a little off-topic.

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