Off-topic movie review: The Amazing Spider-Man

OK, here’s the thing about summer candy that is The Amazing Spider-Man:

  • With all the web strings he litters the streets with, wouldn’t it be police procedure to obtain one of those and trace them back to their origin? It’s obvious the technology is well-known … Peter Parker found it on the Internet …
  • For the record: I would NOT want to bear the brunt of a Martin Sheen angry lecture. He’s got that perfect “Mad Dad” tone of voice. Of course, considering his offspring, he may have had a lot of practice …
  • OK, so you break a 17-year-old girl’s heart and she’s NOT going to post your secret identity on Facebook? Isn’t an spurned lover’s spat what helped Zuckerberg create Facebook in the first place? Or did I miss the point of The Social Network?
  • Why are there so many high-rise cranes leading to Oscorp?
  • How to stop a bully:
    Step 1: Embarrass him in front of everyone — I mean totally dominate him.
    Step 2: Did you really do Step 1? When I use the term “totally dominate,” the domination has to be, you know total … Otherwise, it’s back to swirlies and kicks to the ribcage.
    Step 3: Repeat Step 1 as needed.
    Step 4: In other words, become a bully to the bully, then he’ll respect you.
    Step 5: But stay humble … otherwise you’ll lose your nerd cred …
  • Are thigh boots in this year … or is that a Gwen Stacy thing?
  • Is that the same one-armed man The Fugitive was looking for?
  • And what’s the Internet in movies … it never, EVER moves that fast in my house … How much does that data plan cost?

See what I did there? I brought it all back to the Internet …

But that may be a little off-topic.

 

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6 thoughts on “Off-topic movie review: The Amazing Spider-Man

    • Sure! I mean, if I had to sit through it, you should too! It’s no Dark Knight or Avengers … kind of like a “Dawson’s Creek” version of Spider-Man … with lizards.

      • Well, most people I know, though, loved it. I just thought it took a little too long to end. And stuff.

      • I think I was just so opposed to it on it’s face; I mean, a series reboot that quick? Seemed like an excessive money-grab. I’dve preferred they let it lay fallow for a few years but with the money the franchise was bringing in, of course they couldn’t.

      • I was skeptical, too. I may be in the minority, but I thought the first one with the Toby Whatshisface was a cool enough start-up.

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