See this? This is the DC Universe Legacy Edition of the Arkham City Batman and Two-Face action figure two-pack. It’s in the toy section at Target.
Know why you should feel sorry for these two little guys? This:
Right there, in the upper right-hand corner: “Adult Collector.” That’s code for “Never take this out of the box or else it will lose ‘value’.”
So we should pity Batman and Two Face. Labeled by society they sit in the toy section, watching all the other “normal” toys get bought by children. But not these two. No, they’re saddled with a tag that society places on them. And this tag says “No Playing!” “Handle With Care!” “I’m a Collectible!” “I Might Be Valuable Someday (but we both know I won’t)!”
They can’t be touched. They will never feel the wind on their half-faces. They’ll never mix it up with a Transformer.
No, these two are bound for shelf, located in a self-proclaimed “man-cave,” where they will sit until they eventually become available via a “Just Got Married” yard sale.
If we’ve learned anything from Toy Story, people, it’s this: there is a fate worse than death. It’s called packaging.