OK, so the President tells you she’s giving you a little time to leave the country. Where could you take your shoulder-shot, twice-stabbed-abdomen, bloody-lipped, ripped-clothes self for a little R-and-R and personal makeover?
Well, here are 5 destinations that may be most open to your arrival:
- Mexico: The best bet may be to go through Texas (Arizona may be a little tough these days); after all, if Llewelyn Moss can walk over the border after getting shot up, Jack Bauer should have no problems.
- Canada: Socialized medicine would allow Jack to get medical care for little or no cost.
- Australia: Weren’t they founded as a place for criminals and refugees? Jack could become the next Crocodile Dundee. He’s got the scars, after all.
- West Virginia: I realize that’s not a foreign country, but they’re usually good for a cheap punchline …
- China: China and the U.S. have no extradition treaty, and since the Big Red Giant is taking over the world anyway, it would be good to get on board early.
Best place to go: The I.R.K. (the Islamic Republic of Kamistan). After all, since Jack was the one to blow the cover off of their president’s assassination, he could get the hero’s welcome. Of course, since that country doesn’t actually exist, it could be tough to find airfare.
Worst place to go: Alaska. From what I understand, in Alaska, you can see Russia from your house, and that could be problematic.
Actually, Jack may have any pick of the world. According to the best source on the Internet for extradition law, “most countries require themselves to deny extradition requests if, in the government’s opinion, the suspect is sought for a political crime [which Jack would be]. Many countries, such as Mexico, Canada and most European nations, will not allow extradition if the death penalty [which it would be]may be imposed on the suspect …”
(And once he gets to where he’s going, here’s 24 things Jack Bauer can do after ’24’)