Check that I.D.?

Was in he convenience store yesterday and the guy two people in front of me requested some Swisher Sweets. (Alternate fun: Take a sheet of paper and write down what he looked like … then check out the bottom of the post.)

The clerk checked his identification, since you need to be 18 to purchase tobacco products. That’s a good rule, right? But I got to thinking, are there any products that one can be too OLD to buy? I imagine the conversation going like this:

Clerk: Let’s see, $10 in gas, a Coke, and … uhm … a pack of Runts. Sir, I’m going to have to see some identification …

Customer: Excuse me?

Clerk: Yeah, these Runts … we gotta check I.D.

Customer: Uhm … I left it in the car …

Clerk: Well, when’s your birthday?

Customer: Uhm, April 1, 1998 … ?

Clerk: Sir, are you telling me you’re 12 years old?

Customer: Yes.

Clerk: How did you drive the car, then? Sir, I’m sorry, you can’t purchase these. I don’t want to get into trouble.

Customer: Wait, wait — I’m buying them for a 12-year-old. He’s in the car.

Clerk: Can you send him in?

Customer: C’mon man, help me out …

Clerk: I’m sorry sir … next please!

I can see adults standing outside the store waiting on someone young enough to buy their Runts. Street-savvy kids charging twice the legal amount, people logging onto Canadian convenience sites to get them shipped …

Hmm … anyway. What candy do you think adults can age out of? What candies should be carded?

(By the way: White guy, dark hair, buzzed haircut, Yankee hat backwards (but not all the way back, kind of at 7 o’clock, and sitting tall on the head), white tank top, jean shorts that go past the knee, black tennis shoes.)

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