If the comedy team Abbott and Costello were alive and on the circuit today, I can imagine how they’d change one of their all-time favorite bits to fit this year’s Super Bowl.
Abbott: Well, Costello, I’m going to Miami to see the Super Bowl. I want to watch the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints and The Who at halftime
Costello: Are you going to the Super Bowl?
Abbott: Yepper.
Costello: You know the team’s that are playing?
Abbott: You know it.
Costello: And you know the name of the band playing at halftime?
Abbott: Well, I should, they announced it months ago
Costello: Well, then, Who’s playing halftime?
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: I mean the band’s name?
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The band at halftime.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: At the Super Bowl. At half.
Abbott: Who
Costello: The band playing …
Abbott: Who is playing the halftime Super Bowl!
Costello: I’m asking you who’s playing halftime.
Abbott: That’s the band’s name.
Costello: That’s who’s name?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Well go ahead and tell me.
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: That’s who?
Abbott: Exactly (Pause)
Costello: Look, there’s a band playing halftime?
Abbott: Certainly.
Costello: Who’s playing halftime?
Abbott: That’s right.
Costello: When you pay the band after the show, Who gets the money?
Abbott: Every dollar of it.
Costello: All I’m trying to find out is the band that’s playing halftime of the Super Bowl.
Abbott: Who.
Costello: The band that gets …
Abbott: That’s it
Costello: Who gets the money …
Abbott: They do, every dollar of it. Sometimes the manager comes down and collects it.
Costello: Who’s manager?
Abbott: You got it (Pause) What’s wrong with that? You’re confusing me.
Costello: Confusing … you too?
Abbott: Now wait, don’t change bands, U2 played the Super Bowl a few years back.
Costello: I’m not changing nobody.
Abbott: Take it easy buddy.
Costello: I’m only asking you, who’s the band playing this year’s Super Bowl.
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: OK
Abbott: Alright.
Costello: So, Yes is playing the Super Bowl …
Abbott: No, Yes has never played the Super Bowl.
Costello: I’m not asking you Who’s never played the Super Bowl.
Abbott: Who’s playing this year.
Costello: Yes.
Abbott: Yes has never played a Super Bowl, we’re not talking about them.
Costello: Why are you talking about yes?
Abbott: Why? You mentioned their name.
Costello: If I mentioned a band’s name, who did I say has never played the Super Bowl
Abbott: No. Who’s playing this year.
Costello: Who’s playing this year?
Abbott: Yes! (Pause)
Costello: Look, if I go to the Super Bowl, somebody’s gotta play halftime. Now, Who plays halftime?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Who?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Yes?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: So I go to halftime and I see Yes
Abbott: No you don’t, you see Who.
Costello: Yes.
Abbott: That’s different
Costello: That’s what I said.
Abbott: You’re not saying it.
Costello: I go to see Yes
Abbott: You go to see Who
Costello: Yes
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: That’s what I said!
Abbott: You ask me.
Costello: I go to halftime and I see Who?
Abbott: Yes.
Costello: Now you ask me.
Abbott: You go to halftime and see Who?
Costello: Yes
Abbott: That’s it.
Costello: Same as you! SAME AS YOU!!! I go to the Super Bowl and watch the first half, the first half is over and a band comes out. Who plays the halftime show? Yes — except they’ve NEVER played halftime. Why? I don’t know, but it’s been quite a Journey.
Abbott: What?
Costello: I said It’s been quite a Journey!
Abbott: No, they play before the Super Bowl
Costello: (Makes screaming sound)
(C) 2010 Media Mug Shot
Now, if I was really good at computer-stuff, I’d have dubbed in voices over this video … maybe that’s what you can do.
